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» We Don't Stop Till Someone's Bleeding
dark rooms I_icon_minitimeFri May 20, 2011 12:16 am by Admin

» Pandora's Punishment
dark rooms I_icon_minitimeTue May 10, 2011 2:18 pm by Kayumi

» Checkmate! (Sequal to If This Is Just Chess...)
dark rooms I_icon_minitimeMon May 09, 2011 1:18 am by Admin

» If This Is Just Chess Then Baby I'm Just A Pawn (Day Class Dragon)
dark rooms I_icon_minitimeMon May 09, 2011 1:06 am by Admin

» Word Game Start
dark rooms I_icon_minitimeFri Apr 29, 2011 8:18 pm by Admin

» Skin
dark rooms I_icon_minitimeSun Apr 17, 2011 4:13 pm by Admin

» The dark room
dark rooms I_icon_minitimeThu Apr 14, 2011 12:09 am by dan-of-darkness91

» The path I'm on
dark rooms I_icon_minitimeMon Feb 21, 2011 10:19 pm by Admin

» Your Mother
dark rooms I_icon_minitimeMon Feb 21, 2011 10:17 pm by Admin

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magencena92
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PostSubject: dark rooms   dark rooms I_icon_minitimeThu Mar 11, 2010 12:41 am

i wake in a room so coldnot knowing where i am theres no light coming into the room i sit
where i am woundering if any one is here in the room with me, i listen for a sound but nothing comes, i sigh then i hearfoot steps coming down the hall they stop in front of the door. i hearthe lock being unlocked then the door opens a bright light seems into the room and hits my face and then i see you
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PostSubject: Re: dark rooms   dark rooms I_icon_minitimeThu Mar 11, 2010 12:45 am

I'm having a bit of trouble understanding if this is meant to be a poem or not, and you missed a few spaces. Woundering = wondering I believe, and I really wish you would have kept going. The face you see on the otherside of the door, is it male? Female? I want to know what they look like. Are they there to save you? To hurt you? It was a good start and has a lot of potential! I'm glad you submitted it and I hope this helped! Good luck, thanks for joining and keep posting!
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Kayumi
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PostSubject: Re: dark rooms   dark rooms I_icon_minitimeThu Mar 11, 2010 1:22 pm

I have to agree with Kie. I wish you would have continued this piece. The thought of someone locked up and seeing a bright light made me wonder what was going to happen to the prisoner. Or is she a prisoner? Why was the person locked up in the room to begin with? Do they know? Well, thanks for posting this and keep up the good work!
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magencena92
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PostSubject: thnks   dark rooms I_icon_minitimeFri Mar 19, 2010 9:39 pm

i like to write but at the time it was all tht came to my mind i have more tht i would like to post but i cant find them right now other wise i would but thnks again for reading it
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PostSubject: Re: dark rooms   dark rooms I_icon_minitime

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